Six-Pack: 2013 #78 to 87 (Heisting 40-year-old Activist Vampire Hunters Do It For Their Kids)

That’s right, with this six-pack I get from movie number 78 in the Film Quest 2013 all the way to film 87. How? Because I get to skip a few that I’ve already reviewed, and a few get skipped so I can lump a few ROCKY films together. Here goes nothin…

Road-tripping, vampire-hunting presidents, bonding with their kids with broken hands, fighting for education before they turn 40 on Thanksgiving Day.

78. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Not as all-together terrible as I had heard it was going to be. I don’t envision myself EVER watching this again, but I didn’t want to pull my hair out, nor did I fall asleep while watching it. Some of the special effects were actually kinda cool. [63/100]


79. This is 40

This is a terribly bleak portrayal of a milestone birthday, though it did have its moments – mostly thanks to Jason Segel, Chris O’Dowd, Charlyne Yi and Meagan Fox. Aside from their involvement, it was mostly a drama with some potty humor (literally) and lame scenes where we’re supposed to laugh about “older people” drug-abuse. [67/100]

81. Due Date

It tries to be this generation’s PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES, but it adds in some sub-plots that miss the mark. Seriously, how do you expect to include a dead father’s remains and potential adultery and end up with a fun movie? Yet, it’s not as bad as it could’ve been, and there are some moments in the movie that make it somewhat rewatchable. [70/100]

Somewhere Tea Party scene Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning

84. Somewhere

It was a nice story and all, but it would’ve worked better as a slideshow of pictures set to music. It had heart, it told a story, but there was nothing really gripping about it. The ending bordered on lame. Its saving grace was the chemistry between the leads (Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning) and the visuals. [68/100]

85. Won’t Back Down

I accidentally saw this movie. It started playing on HBO, I was sitting there, I didn’t want to get up, and by the time I decided to shut off the TV to go to bed, it was nearly finished. Not something I’d watch again, but the story was decent enough to hook me. It almost played like a made-for-tv movie. The message was strong enough to get me interested in the cause of under-performing schools, though. [64/100]

Tower Heist

87. Tower Heist

Whoever said this movie was terrible really expected far too much from it. I wouldn’t say Eddie Murphy was completely back to form in this film, but he made huge strides towards it with this role. I don’t typically love Ben Stiller, but this was a really good role for him. Gotta love Casey Affleck, and what’s not to like about Matthew Broderick? The plot is interesting enough to sit through, and though it won’t be a film I’ll ever plan to watch again, it’s far from terrible. In fact, it just happened to be the best film I’ve rated in this article. [74/100]

Summary: Not a great movie in the bunch, and I don’t expect that any of the end of year awards will come from a film on this list. Perhaps Elle Fanning for Best Supporting Actress, but that might be the extent of the nominations.

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